Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Children in our system

If you are considering adopting an older child please know what you are about to face. I know about children in the system from my families careers. Children that are in our system have seen and heard things that many adults have no idea how to pronounce, much less what certain things are. In all reality, you probably do not want to know what the children have experienced. At this time, I will not say what the children we are trying to adopt have experienced. In that sense, I am protecting the children.

Drug use and abuse. Violence in all froms, murder, beating, punishment to the children beyond belief. Abandonment. No security. Sexual violence, sexual abuse.

If you are considering adopting an older child be aware of this. You will have to deal with issues that may be out of your reach. Be understanding. Not all children will run up to you and hug you. It could take years for some children to feel secure enough to give or receive a hug. Then on the other side of things - the child may cling to you and not want to let go. It is all understandable when you consider what the individual child has witnessed or has experienced. Close you eyes and imagine the worse happening to you. Not a pretty picture!
One child may walk into a convience store and see beer and associate that with being beat. It could be possible that someone that the child trusted drank beer and then beat them. They may see someone smoking a cigarette and associate that with smoking marajuana or crack. It could be possible that someone that the child trusted smoked and then abandoned them. These are things that we usually don't think about, however, when we do think about them a light bulb comes on and we say - Oh yeah, I can see that.

In all good there is bad. It is a horrible fact of life. If you prepare now, you will not be surprised later.

I am not trying to change anyone's mind about adopting an older child. Please adopt an older child. Get them out of the system! They need a home and love! They need security and structure.

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