Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Calling All Parents

Ok - I have to admit, I really need some advice.

My middle son, JD, is 12 years old and he hates school. Yes, with a capital H. Some days he will do his work with very little complaints and other days - well there other days. Days that he complains about everything. He hates his chair, he hates his desk, he hates the clothes he is wearing. He hates to read and even refuses to read. Every lesson he starts to do is dumb. Ask him to add 2+1 on those days and he will tell you he is confused. He can come up with any excuse and every excuse to get out of his school work. He will say that no one can make him do his school work.
Instead of looking in the material he has read for the answer to a multiple choice question, he will just pick an answer. He will say that he doesn't care if he gets it wrong. He will say that the answer is not in the material he just read. He will say that the answer isn't where he is looking or where he looked. He will say that I never help him. When I am sitting less than a foot away from him, he will ask me to tell him what page the answer is on. Then he will want you to tell him what paragraph it is in. And then he wants to know what sentence it is. I mean it just goes on and on.
He will say so many other things too. All the things that he says is negative. We all try to work with him. We all try to help him. There is a limit to helping someone before you actually are doing it for them.

I am hoping that someone who has experienced something like this can please give me some ideas or suggestions that may help us out. At this point, I sometimes think a root canal would be more pleasant.


Creative Blogger said...

Has your son always been this way or is it his age?

As boys hit puberty they can get like this. My brother did, and it was not because he could not do the work, but because he was bored by it. He was very clever and the subjects bored him.

In my family we are all quite willful and tend not to do things we don't want to. As an adult this is actually a good thing as we are not easily influenced or peer led. But for a parent of a wilful child this as you say is frustrating.

Meanwhile I would not help him. Inform him, you know he can do it himself and hand his book in blank if you have too. This is what I would try at least twice.

With my 3.5yr old, when he refuses to dress. I just say 'ok, don't get dressed then.' I remind him he won't get any sweets that day though. He gets dressed himself.

Can you take away your sons favourite item if he refuses to do his work himself?

It's the hardest job in the world, I have no idea what awaits me when mine are teenagers!

Sarah said...

I think that alot of that is his age. You could very well be describing my 12.5 yr old daughter. All I can offer is encouragement, hang in there and don't give up! Homeschool is the best way to go for children. You may shake things up for him a bit. By that I mean, I don't know what curriculum you use or whatever, but do some kind of special unit thing that he is really interested in. Best to you in your efforts!

karisma said...

Maybe the curriculum you have chosen for the boys does not suit him. All children are different, they all have different ways of taking in information and learning. What works for one will not necessarily work for another.

EG. Some children learn readily from books alone. Others need to use their hands and SEE what they are learning. Words mean nothing to them. It does not mean one is smarter than the other just that they perceive things differently.

This is the beauty of home schooling, you can make changes and choices to suit the individual child. Not the overall group.

Don't give up on him. He is a star just waiting to shine.